Homesickness

I feel homesick. It's bizarre. I'm not used to this feeling. Normally when I go places, I'm much more active and totally involved in the trip and rarely do I have moments of really, strongly, missing home. But boy do I have it now. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss our small Thanksgiving, I miss our living room, I miss my cat and his hair, I miss Main St in Newark, I miss summer and the creek and I miss playing tennis with my mom and dad and brother and going to Costco afterwards, I miss bike rides. Is it because I never really went through an "omg I miss home" period in college? When I'd study abroad before, I'd always be fine. Maybe it's because that time was so definite. Here, yeah, this program is 1 year, but I may stay for 2. Also, I'm slowly realizing that I don't really like teaching English. I don't hate it and I'm not unhappy, I'm just realizing it's not something I want to do long-term. I do like teaching and I like talking with students, and cultural aspects interest me, but the actual aspects of language... teaching the why's of grammar.. does anyone really like that? Joder (that's like a damn/shit in Spanish), I'm just not very good at explaining the difference between "I have eaten 3 apples today" and "I ate 3 apples today". Or what I said above, "When I'd study abroad before, I'd always be fine"... why did I use conditional (would) for a past description? I dunno, I just did...

Anyway, I guess it's good because even though I don't know what I want to do next, crossing things off the long-term list can be useful. But right now, teaching English is worth it to be given the chance to live here. I just wish I could find something new. Am I ever satisfied???? Jesus.

Even though it sounds like I'm complaining, I still recognize that this whole thing is incredible. And in lieu of Thanksgiving I am unbelievably thankful. Yeah, for being here, but mostly for the ridiculous luck I've had with the people I know... my whole life. I don't know how I have these blessings but thank you world. In both my apartments here my roommates have been awesome.. I'm just lucky. I just realized I have to leave in 20 minutes so I'm going to go get changed.

We had a dinner at Goyo's piso for Thanksgiving (goyo is a nickname for Gregorio which is the Spanish version of Gregoire) and it was a huge SUCCESS!!! I cooked a lot and everything turned out well... which, hopefully you understand how big a deal that is for me.

I'll leave you with a photo...